From: Allana Pratt, Intimacy Expert
Dear glorious Readers,
Loved your feedback about the poem I wrote for my friend for her situation!
I got everything from...
Right on, Allana.
Thank you all!
Here are...
The results in her life of me having written her a poem in her voice to give to him..
MY Voice, MY Story, about what's happened to me.
This has been a great exercise for me, nothing like stirring the pot to awaken us all! I have never written something for someone before, never tried to speak in their voice, from their point of view regardless of what I wanted to say... and it was very effective for them, created the result I intended... yet I see that:
I provided little context of what happened and basically dumped this on you.
I sent it because she loved it, it made him cry, they connected so I jumped to the conclusion it would help you too.
I was being HER, in her anger, her way of talking... (which is wild I can really get into someone else's head & know what's needed to create a result for another) yet I see it was not empowering for some of you, it was triggering and emasculating to others of you, for which I apologize. My intention is to always uplift you, heal all emasculation and so please forgive my lack of consciousness.
Yet I am also grateful & here's why!
I'm grateful that they, (her still being angry, him still having been hiding) came together. Being heard helped her release her frustration, the safer place she provided allowed him to show up and speak his truth. He had hidden an affair for a year. Even more than the infidelity, she's looking at why her best friend lied to her, where was she responsible for this. This is giving him space to show up, take responsibility as well for his infidelity and decide to what he's committed... They're in the world of possibility now...
I'm grateful that this blossomed into a conversation and deepened my awareness and responsibility to sit with things before I send them, and not judge myself when I make choices that disempower.
And I'm grateful that it's helped me see where I HAVE BEEN HIDING, pretending, holding back from you. I love you all so much, I choose to come out of the closet and share this with you.
And now I give you my experience, nothing to do with my friend, written by me... as a vulnerable woman, responding as consciously as I can, accepting that I don't have all the answers. I'm not perfect 24/7... and I choose to be real, raw, inviting and hopefully inspirational, sharing my process with you, my beloved community.
Connect, engage and share more feedback please... I value what is true for you.
Aware
by Allana Pratt
Shock.
Expectations smashed into pieces.
Kindnesses of humanity violated.
Kicked in the gut, this is so horrid it's surreal.
Can't breathe, I'm in the underworld, I inhale fire.
Vilification dissolving my heart like acid on flesh.
Trust has been gone for years, yet you're taking me to court to take our son away from me?
Are you mad?
I know we don't get along, yet all this time your excuses, lies, denials, even fake kindnesses were all a conscious manipulation behind my back?
Do beings like you really exist? I'm hooked in judgment.
Part of me is terrified beyond words to lose my son, part of me wants to annihilate you. Then my fierceness awakens like a blade of grass through cement... I CAN awaken. I CHOOSE to awaken through this pain.
I can see I've been avoiding my awareness of who you truly are.
If I received my awareness of who you are, I would have to face the fact and feelings that I married you, made love to you, had a child with you, opened my body, soul and world to you, supported you, believed in you, even after the divorce did all my forgiveness work to be grateful for you... always focusing on the good, and now this?
Mother bear is rearing her head, willing and able to kill for her cub, and at choice.
This is unacceptable.
And me hiding is unacceptable.
Me unwilling to process these sensations so as to be blinded to this attack is unacceptable.
Show it all to me.
I claim my power back to see the unseeable. I choose to dissolve judgment and be with it all.
I chose to marry then divorce someone who is attempting to take me down.
I chose to open my sacred garden of body bliss to someone who doesn't value me.
I chose to grant custody every other week to someone who acts toward me with venom.
Our son swims in this energy at your home.
I want to vomit.
What's right about this?
It's time to release my kumbaya polyanna fantasy that all people are good. That's a judgment, not awareness!
This is fucking with my mind, for part of my courage to surrender into Oneness is to believe I'm surrendering into good juju.
OK, let's go beyond mind.
Oneness includes everything and excludes nothing. I can hear Gary
Douglas's voice in my head.
This too?
Gary, this too!!??
ALL of life comes to me with ease, joy and glory? This too???
So I chose to deny what I knew. And it bit me in the ass.
I did that. Hiding doesn't work.
Thank you for this wake up call... I'm awake... 30 days later I was in court flanked by one of the best lawyers in LA and her mentor, a Family Law Judge. The judge on the stand... it was her FIRST f'ing day on the job. You've got to be kidding me.
For the first 10 minutes being cross examined I barely breathed, was still hiding...and then I remembered who I am.
I am at choice.
I am defending nothing.
And I choose to BE kindness AND the potent capacity to shift, create and generate ANYTHING out of NOTHING...
I was huge, like a tree, honest, mother bear, strength in vulnerability.
I began taking their accusatory insane questions and calmly yet passionately telling the truth then taking the lead by requesting the next question. I was in control of this hearing. They were in MY courtroom and I was walking out the winner. No more hiding, no making wrong. Just the totality of ME.
Fierce Love Truth and Potency in Action.
"Strike that from the record! I object!" his lawyer retorted and...
I
Just
Kept
Talking
As
Big
As
The
Universe.
The judge encouraged me to finish.
My lawyer didn't even need to respond. She said the case is clear your honor, we respect the court's time.
I won on all accounts.
(Except getting a month each for the summer. I choose to provide a global citizen awareness of the world to my boy. It'll happen in time.)
Anything is possible.
Anything is possible when I'm willing to take responsibility for where
I'm the cause of my suffering, where I'm willing to see the truth of who he is and know I choose differently for me, where I am able to really hear what's true for me and make the most potent juicy choice for living possible.
I could have emasculated him.
I could have hidden.
I could have played the victim card.
I could have let fear win.
I am now authentically grateful for the wake up call.
I choose for him to dissolve out of my life with ease right away.
I choose to thrive for me, for my son, for joy.
I choose to inspire all men and women to KNOW what they know and make choices for a delicious spectacular life.
I choose to hold myself in kindness and caring for choosing to hide as long as I did, releasing judgment of him, of me, of life.
I choose to celebrate myself for being willing to have it all, create generate and receive it ALL... everything. EVERYTHING. One moment at a time.
And I am unwilling to give my power away again to another.
And if I do, as soon as I'm aware, claim it back again until it's the very fiber of my being.
I choose ME.
Wow.
It's taken me 42 years (and probably 42 million lifetimes) to choose me.
I'm at the helm.
I bask in the pure awareness of my greatness, my sweetness, my limitlessness.
I choose to take one wild deep magnificent leap into ME... this experience has been the springboard from which I soar into NOW.
Thank you.
Thank you.
How does this get even more delicious?
Deliciously yours,
Allana Pratt
Dear glorious Readers,
Loved your feedback about the poem I wrote for my friend for her situation!
I got everything from...
Right on, Allana.
God, what seems to be so lacking in today's world is integrity. Just to be clear, I mean integrity as functional wholeness, being of-a-piece, and a work-in-progress in that direction -- not honesty, which is a different attribute. It takes integrity to be honest because sometimes honesty bears the threat of being torn apart for it, of heavy consequences, and only a person with adequate integrity feels up to the possible consequences of honesty.
Your poem communicates the stakes and the requirements of a relationship of integrity.
Thanks, Lawrence to Allana, I have never written to you before but I felt the need this time...
The beginning of this is really good. Guys need to own their own shit, be able to take the heat for mistakes and stay humble. As a guy I hate to discover I hurt or disappointed or was less than I needed to be for anyone I care about let alone a woman who I am in love with. It's awful. This guy may have done something truly despicable. If so say it. Give it a name. Put it out there.
Where the wheels come off the cart, at least for me, is when this turns more into vitriolic rage and venting. She says she is done and not being judgmental but statements like the following are not only judgmental but really damaging.... JP
Thank you all!
Here are...
The results in her life of me having written her a poem in her voice to give to him..
MY Voice, MY Story, about what's happened to me.
This has been a great exercise for me, nothing like stirring the pot to awaken us all! I have never written something for someone before, never tried to speak in their voice, from their point of view regardless of what I wanted to say... and it was very effective for them, created the result I intended... yet I see that:
I provided little context of what happened and basically dumped this on you.
I sent it because she loved it, it made him cry, they connected so I jumped to the conclusion it would help you too.
I was being HER, in her anger, her way of talking... (which is wild I can really get into someone else's head & know what's needed to create a result for another) yet I see it was not empowering for some of you, it was triggering and emasculating to others of you, for which I apologize. My intention is to always uplift you, heal all emasculation and so please forgive my lack of consciousness.
Yet I am also grateful & here's why!
I'm grateful that they, (her still being angry, him still having been hiding) came together. Being heard helped her release her frustration, the safer place she provided allowed him to show up and speak his truth. He had hidden an affair for a year. Even more than the infidelity, she's looking at why her best friend lied to her, where was she responsible for this. This is giving him space to show up, take responsibility as well for his infidelity and decide to what he's committed... They're in the world of possibility now...
I'm grateful that this blossomed into a conversation and deepened my awareness and responsibility to sit with things before I send them, and not judge myself when I make choices that disempower.
And I'm grateful that it's helped me see where I HAVE BEEN HIDING, pretending, holding back from you. I love you all so much, I choose to come out of the closet and share this with you.
And now I give you my experience, nothing to do with my friend, written by me... as a vulnerable woman, responding as consciously as I can, accepting that I don't have all the answers. I'm not perfect 24/7... and I choose to be real, raw, inviting and hopefully inspirational, sharing my process with you, my beloved community.
Connect, engage and share more feedback please... I value what is true for you.
Aware
by Allana Pratt
Shock.
Expectations smashed into pieces.
Kindnesses of humanity violated.
Kicked in the gut, this is so horrid it's surreal.
Can't breathe, I'm in the underworld, I inhale fire.
Vilification dissolving my heart like acid on flesh.
Trust has been gone for years, yet you're taking me to court to take our son away from me?
Are you mad?
I know we don't get along, yet all this time your excuses, lies, denials, even fake kindnesses were all a conscious manipulation behind my back?
Do beings like you really exist? I'm hooked in judgment.
Part of me is terrified beyond words to lose my son, part of me wants to annihilate you. Then my fierceness awakens like a blade of grass through cement... I CAN awaken. I CHOOSE to awaken through this pain.
I can see I've been avoiding my awareness of who you truly are.
If I received my awareness of who you are, I would have to face the fact and feelings that I married you, made love to you, had a child with you, opened my body, soul and world to you, supported you, believed in you, even after the divorce did all my forgiveness work to be grateful for you... always focusing on the good, and now this?
Mother bear is rearing her head, willing and able to kill for her cub, and at choice.
This is unacceptable.
And me hiding is unacceptable.
Me unwilling to process these sensations so as to be blinded to this attack is unacceptable.
Show it all to me.
I claim my power back to see the unseeable. I choose to dissolve judgment and be with it all.
I chose to marry then divorce someone who is attempting to take me down.
I chose to open my sacred garden of body bliss to someone who doesn't value me.
I chose to grant custody every other week to someone who acts toward me with venom.
Our son swims in this energy at your home.
I want to vomit.
What's right about this?
It's time to release my kumbaya polyanna fantasy that all people are good. That's a judgment, not awareness!
This is fucking with my mind, for part of my courage to surrender into Oneness is to believe I'm surrendering into good juju.
OK, let's go beyond mind.
Oneness includes everything and excludes nothing. I can hear Gary
Douglas's voice in my head.
This too?
Gary, this too!!??
ALL of life comes to me with ease, joy and glory? This too???
So I chose to deny what I knew. And it bit me in the ass.
I did that. Hiding doesn't work.
Thank you for this wake up call... I'm awake... 30 days later I was in court flanked by one of the best lawyers in LA and her mentor, a Family Law Judge. The judge on the stand... it was her FIRST f'ing day on the job. You've got to be kidding me.
For the first 10 minutes being cross examined I barely breathed, was still hiding...and then I remembered who I am.
I am at choice.
I am defending nothing.
And I choose to BE kindness AND the potent capacity to shift, create and generate ANYTHING out of NOTHING...
I was huge, like a tree, honest, mother bear, strength in vulnerability.
I began taking their accusatory insane questions and calmly yet passionately telling the truth then taking the lead by requesting the next question. I was in control of this hearing. They were in MY courtroom and I was walking out the winner. No more hiding, no making wrong. Just the totality of ME.
Fierce Love Truth and Potency in Action.
"Strike that from the record! I object!" his lawyer retorted and...
I
Just
Kept
Talking
As
Big
As
The
Universe.
The judge encouraged me to finish.
My lawyer didn't even need to respond. She said the case is clear your honor, we respect the court's time.
I won on all accounts.
(Except getting a month each for the summer. I choose to provide a global citizen awareness of the world to my boy. It'll happen in time.)
Anything is possible.
Anything is possible when I'm willing to take responsibility for where
I'm the cause of my suffering, where I'm willing to see the truth of who he is and know I choose differently for me, where I am able to really hear what's true for me and make the most potent juicy choice for living possible.
I could have emasculated him.
I could have hidden.
I could have played the victim card.
I could have let fear win.
I am now authentically grateful for the wake up call.
I choose for him to dissolve out of my life with ease right away.
I choose to thrive for me, for my son, for joy.
I choose to inspire all men and women to KNOW what they know and make choices for a delicious spectacular life.
I choose to hold myself in kindness and caring for choosing to hide as long as I did, releasing judgment of him, of me, of life.
I choose to celebrate myself for being willing to have it all, create generate and receive it ALL... everything. EVERYTHING. One moment at a time.
And I am unwilling to give my power away again to another.
And if I do, as soon as I'm aware, claim it back again until it's the very fiber of my being.
I choose ME.
Wow.
It's taken me 42 years (and probably 42 million lifetimes) to choose me.
I'm at the helm.
I bask in the pure awareness of my greatness, my sweetness, my limitlessness.
I choose to take one wild deep magnificent leap into ME... this experience has been the springboard from which I soar into NOW.
Thank you.
Thank you.
How does this get even more delicious?
Deliciously yours,
Allana Pratt
